


Too Good

by Untoward



Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Baby from adoption not mpreg, M/M, Mentions of car accident, grievance, thats literally it, this is the aftermath of the death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-12
Updated: 2020-04-12
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:48:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23621083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Untoward/pseuds/Untoward
Summary: “I’m just looking out for you, are you doing okay?”“I’m not all too sure, if I’m honestly, Lola.” Ben takes the glass from the table and raises it slightly, in a mock toast. “Here’s to widowhood.”orBen loses Callum in a car crash. He has his suspicions on how it happened.
Relationships: Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell
Comments: 3
Kudos: 42





	Too Good

**Author's Note:**

> Took inspiration from the aftermath of Steve Owen’s death in 2002. Some dialogue is taken directly from the scene. Steve and Mel are my babies. Enjoy.

“Ben,” Lola says softly, bringing her hand up and putting it on Ben’s shoulder. She squeeze’s it, trying to give him as much comfort as she can. “I’m so sorry, I don’t know what to say-“

“Don’t say anything,” Ben replies, shrugging her hand off his shoulder and turning around to face her. He smiles at her, trying his best to make sure she thinks he’s okay. “I’m just having a drink, want one?”

Ben sits down on the table and picks up his glass of vodka and tonic with one hand. He takes a big gulp and puts the glass down, his other arm was wrapped around his baby boy, pulling him closer to his chest.

“No, I’m okay.” Lola says, sitting down on the chair next to him.

“Go on.” Ben pushes the vodka bottle towards her and Lola shakes her head.

“No, I’m tired and I haven’t eaten today - “

Ben shrugs his shoulders. “Okay, suit yourself.” He takes the bottle with his free hand and pours the vodka into the glass and picks it up, drinking it straight without flinching.

“Ben, do you really think you should be drinking when you’re looking after - “

“Questioning my parenting skills, Lo?” Ben scoffs. He wraps his arms around his boy and kisses him on the forehead, closing his eyes as he breaths in the scent of his baby. _Their baby_. He opens his eyes and wills away the tears at the thought. He smiles at her once again.

“No, Ben, I just don’t think the way you’re dealing with this is very healthy.” She says honestly, putting her hand on his forearm. “I’m just looking out for you, are you doing okay?”

“I’m not all too sure, if I’m honestly, Lola.” Ben takes the glass from the table and raises it slightly, in a mock toast. “Here’s to widowhood.”

“Don’t, Ben - “

“Widow,” Ben says into the distance, his lips beginning to wobble a bit. “Never thought I’d be one of those.”

“Did you have to go and identify him?” Lola says slowly, and Ben shakes his head. He stands from the table and paces, shushing his son. Trying to comfort him as he starts to stir.

“No, police said there would be no point. They have to use dental records to - “

“Ben, I’m so sorry.” Lola says and Ben sighs.

“That’s what everyone’s saying. Sorry.” Ben let’s out a bitter laugh. “Sorry for your loss, sorry it was so sudden, sorry that your baby boy has to grow up with one parent, sorry about your hus-“ Ben cuts himself off, bitting his lip. “I didn’t even get to say goodbye, Lo. Can’t even see him before they bury him.”

“Ben - “

“He didn’t deserve this, Lola.” He can’t stop now, his hand tightening around his baby. “He was such a good person, too good for anyone. No one deserved him.” Ben takes in a deep breath. “Least of all me.”

“Stop that, Ben.” Lola stands up and walks towards him. “He hated it when you use to say that, because it wasn’t true. He saw the good that was in you. The good that you show to Lexi, to Jay, to me.” She places a hand on the baby’s back and rubs it slightly as he stirred against Ben’s shoulder. “And now you get to show it to this little baby, you can’t let this break you. Callum wouldn’t want it too, he would want you to move on with your life.”

Ben looks up at her and gives her a tired smile. “I just don’t think that’s possible, Lo.” 

//

“Ben,” Lola says later, “what you said earlier, about Callum not deserving this.”

Ben looks over to her, the baby now lying against his chest as he sits in the sofa. He rubs the baby’s back gently and looks at her “Hm?”

“You made it sound like what happened to Callum... wasn’t an accident.”

Ben says nothing, just sighs and looks back down at the baby in his chest.

“Ben?”

“What do you want me to say, Lola?” Ben says, still not looking at her. “That all I’ve been able to think about since I got the phone call from the police is Callum. About how not Callum this whole situation sounds like.” Ben looks over at her. “Speeding? He would never speed anyway, let alone when he’s got a baby at home. Not to mention -“ Ben cuts himself off.

“Not to mention, what?” Lola asks. Ben shakes his head but Lola presses. “What aren’t you telling me, Ben?”

“Some people,” Ben says slowly. “Some people that I knew awhile ago got in contact with, wanting to do some business - “

“Oh, Ben, you didn’t.”

“No, I didn’t,” Ben says sternly. “I haven’t been involved with that since me and Callum got married but now we had a baby there was no way.” Ben bites his lip as he continues. “But I just keep on thinking, what if they weren’t happy about my answer. What if they wanted to get back at me and they put Callum into that wall.”

“Ben, you’re over thinking.“

“Am I? Am I overthinking, because I keep on coming back to the same thing - why wasn’t Callum driving more carefully? He usually does, he’s the safest damn driver I know.” Ben looks at Lola and sighs. “Knew.”

“You’re grieving Ben, and just trying to rationalise this. The police said it was an accident and they’re satisfied.”

“And how can they be so sure?” Ben is getting angry.

“Because Keanu said he never saw another car there.”

That made Ben stop. He slowly got up from the sofa and made his way towards Lola, standing over her.

“You’re, you’re telling me Keanu was there?”

“Um, no, not exactly,” Lola says slowly. “He was passing by just as the accident happened, he’s the one who called the police.”

“Keanu?” Ben says again, his eyebrows furrowing and his voice raising in anger.

“Yeah, he doesn’t want anyone to know he doesn’t want to make is big deal.”

Ben let’s out a little laugh. “Oh, I bet he doesn’t,” Ben shakes his head. “Keanu Taylor, the one who kidnapped my husband, was there when he passed away? You’re telling me that’s not dodgy?”

“That was years ago, and he didn’t kidnap him because he hated him, he - “

“No, he kidnapped him because he hated me.” Ben tells her, his voice getting louder. “You still think he’s over what happened all those years ago? Still over not being able to see his daughter? He came back and finished the job.”

“Ben, you need to calm down - “ Lola says slowly but Ben quickly puts the baby in her hands and steps towards the door.

“It was Keanu that drove Callum off the road!” He screams loudly and the baby jump a little in Lola’s arms. “He never got over what happened, he was looking for revenge and trying to take one of the most precious things in my life!”

“You can’t be sure of that.” Lola says, coming to stand next to him by the door.

“It was him I know it!” Ben screams and Lola uses one. of her hands to take Ben’s arm.

“Get off of me.” Ben says and Lola shakes her head at him.

“You might be wrong!”

“I’ll kill him.” Ben says and then tries to open the door to leave.

Lola steps in front of him, the baby cradled to her chest. “Ben, even if you’re right about Keanu, you’ll only make things worse.”

“Get out of my way, Lola!” Ben screams and opens the door, barging outside. 

// 

Ben opens the door to The Vic, and everyone turns to look at him. Ben knows they’ve all just been talking about it, can feel it in the air. Everyone is quite, but he doesn’t seem to care.

He doesn’t care that he looks like a mess. He doesn’t that he’s got bags under his eyes from the lack of sleep. He doesn’t care that he’s in tracksuit bottoms and Callum’s grey hoodie. All he cares about it Keanu.

He’s by the bar, and he’s looking at Ben along with everyone else. Except Ben doesn’t spare anyone else a second look. He slowly starts to move forward, and everyone’s eyes are still on him.

Once Ben reaches Keanu he lunges, grabbing for his collar and bringing him forward. Ben hears the whole pub gasp at the commotion but he doesn’t care, still reaching for Keanu.

Keanu is trying to back away but he keeps on getting closer. He almost has him and he’s ready to punch before he feels someone grabbing him around the waist and pulling him back. He struggles against the person until he hears his voice.

“Ben, Ben!” It’s Jay, and Ben slowly stop struggling against his grip. “Relax.”

Ben looks up at Jay and nods his head. Jay slowly lets go of him. But Ben doesn’t listen and he lunges at Keanu again.

He barley reaches him before Jay is back, dragging him away and trying to calm him down.

“Ben, listen to me,” he says slowly and turns Ben around so he’s facing him. “It’s alright, okay?” Jay tries to say as gently as he can. “It’s going to be alright.” 

“It’s never going to be alright!” Ben screams as loud as he can and all the pent up emotions he’s felt finally reach breaking point. All the pain, sadness and anger from the past 12 hours are too much for him. The tears start to stream down his face and they don’t slow down, his cheeks going red with anger. “It’s never going to alright!”

He grips Jay’s shoulders, his knuckles going white. Jay grips his torso, trying his best to comfort him. Ben whispers to Jay, “He killed him.”

Ben looks back at Keanu, anger bubbling up in his chest once more and he can’t keep quite any longer. “He killed my husband!”

Ben’s whole body goes lax from anger, and he puts his cheek on Jay’s shoulder. Jay hugs him tighter, and all Ben can do is cry.

He doesn’t know how he’s going to carry on. 

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry hehe. All kudos and comments are always welcomed and appreciated. 
> 
> Twitter - lexibpearce   
> Tumblr - mitchellsiblings


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